How to Get Rich With Farm Subsidies
By Jon Herring
For years, a fake letter to the U.S. Secretary of Agriculture has been circulating online. It's not only good for a laugh, it underscores the insane reality of U.S. farm subsidies. Here's one version of the letter:
Dear Sir:
My friend, Wayne Peterson, over at Wichita Falls, received a check the other day for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business myself next year.
I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all government policies. What I want to know is, what is the best type of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise?
My friend Wayne is very excited about the future of his business. He had been raising hogs for 20 years and the most he ever made was $420 in 1978, until this year, when he got your check for $1,000 for not raising hogs.
If I can get $1,000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2,000 for not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to not raising about 4,000 hogs, which will give me $80,000 income the first year.
Now, another thing: These hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and corn not to feed the 4,000 hogs I am not going to raise?
I want to get started not feeding as soon as possible, as this seems to be a good time of the year to not raise hogs and grain and I don't want to miss the best of the season. I am also considering the "not milking cows" business, so please send me any information on that too.
In view of these circumstances, I understand that the government will consider me totally unemployed, so I plan to file for unemployment and food stamps as well.
Be assured that you will have my vote in the coming elections.
Patriotically yours,
Otis Deal
As absurd as this letter is, what is more absurd is that the U.S. Department of Agriculture has actually followed a policy of paying farmers "not" to farm. They have also used federal funds - taxpayer money - to subsidize crops that benefit food manufacturers but make the population fat and sick. Tomorrow, I'll show you what has happened, and the effect it has had on our health. ______________________________
Frequent-Flyer Miles: These Days, It's Use Them or Lose Them
By Jennifer Stevens
No use sitting on your frequent-flyer miles any longer. Do so, and you're likely to lose them.
Airlines have been quietly - one after another - changing their frequent-flyer policies, shortening the length of time you can keep your accumulated miles.
It used to be that you could horde them for years with no penalty. But nowadays, many airlines demand you show "activity" of some sort (either by redeeming miles or accumulating more) within a certain number of months, usually 18. If you don't... they'll zero out your account.
This recently happened to me when I lost 150,000 US Airways miles I'd more-or-less forgotten about. It was a loss I could have easily avoided - and I needn't have taken a US Airways flight to do it.
I could have kept my account active, for instance, by using a small number of those miles to purchase a magazine subscription or some Starbucks coffee. I'd have been down a few miles, sure, but I'd have retained the majority. Or I might have kept my account active by accumulating a few additional miles shopping online at a US Airways partner store - like Target, Gap, or Staples. I'd have simply needed to make my purchase through the US Airways site.
Take 10 minutes this week to assess the status of your own frequent-flyer miles. In all likelihood, you're at risk of losing them if you don't take some action soon. United Airlines announced their "stay active" policy this past January, and American Airlines followed suit just last week.
To cash in your miles for products instead of flights, visit: points.com. It's free to register, and you'll be presented with all sorts of places where your miles are as good as greenbacks.
To earn miles when you make purchases from a wide range of retailers, visit each airline's frequent-flyer website and find the link for their partner offers.
[Ed. Note: Jennifer Stevens, author of AWAI's Ultimate Travel Writer's Program, gets paid to travel.]
______________________________
It's Fun to Know: Your Chances of Winning Big
Georgia truck driver Ed Nabors is taking home about $80 million after winning the Mega Millions lottery this past March. That could be you, right? Maybe. But your chance of winning the next big Mega Millions jackpot is about one in 175,711,536.
(Source: The New York Times)
______________________________
Word to the Wise: Flagitious
"Flagitious" (fluh-JISH-us) - from the Latin for "a shameful or disgraceful act" - means grossly wicked, scandalous, or corrupt.
Example (as used by Robin Greer in a review of Jim Carrey's performance in How the Grinch Stole Christmas): "The Grinch, a nefarious, flagitious, sly, nasty, troublesome, bad-tempered, intolerant, and foul-smelling character who, for reasons never fully explained, lives in a cave above the town."
Michael Masterson
__________________________________________________
These articles appear courtesy of Early to Rise [Issue #2066, 06-12-07], the Internet's most popular health, wealth, and success e-zine. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com/.
For years, a fake letter to the U.S. Secretary of Agriculture has been circulating online. It's not only good for a laugh, it underscores the insane reality of U.S. farm subsidies. Here's one version of the letter:
Dear Sir:
My friend, Wayne Peterson, over at Wichita Falls, received a check the other day for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business myself next year.
I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all government policies. What I want to know is, what is the best type of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise?
My friend Wayne is very excited about the future of his business. He had been raising hogs for 20 years and the most he ever made was $420 in 1978, until this year, when he got your check for $1,000 for not raising hogs.
If I can get $1,000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2,000 for not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to not raising about 4,000 hogs, which will give me $80,000 income the first year.
Now, another thing: These hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and corn not to feed the 4,000 hogs I am not going to raise?
I want to get started not feeding as soon as possible, as this seems to be a good time of the year to not raise hogs and grain and I don't want to miss the best of the season. I am also considering the "not milking cows" business, so please send me any information on that too.
In view of these circumstances, I understand that the government will consider me totally unemployed, so I plan to file for unemployment and food stamps as well.
Be assured that you will have my vote in the coming elections.
Patriotically yours,
Otis Deal
As absurd as this letter is, what is more absurd is that the U.S. Department of Agriculture has actually followed a policy of paying farmers "not" to farm. They have also used federal funds - taxpayer money - to subsidize crops that benefit food manufacturers but make the population fat and sick. Tomorrow, I'll show you what has happened, and the effect it has had on our health. ______________________________
Frequent-Flyer Miles: These Days, It's Use Them or Lose Them
By Jennifer Stevens
No use sitting on your frequent-flyer miles any longer. Do so, and you're likely to lose them.
Airlines have been quietly - one after another - changing their frequent-flyer policies, shortening the length of time you can keep your accumulated miles.
It used to be that you could horde them for years with no penalty. But nowadays, many airlines demand you show "activity" of some sort (either by redeeming miles or accumulating more) within a certain number of months, usually 18. If you don't... they'll zero out your account.
This recently happened to me when I lost 150,000 US Airways miles I'd more-or-less forgotten about. It was a loss I could have easily avoided - and I needn't have taken a US Airways flight to do it.
I could have kept my account active, for instance, by using a small number of those miles to purchase a magazine subscription or some Starbucks coffee. I'd have been down a few miles, sure, but I'd have retained the majority. Or I might have kept my account active by accumulating a few additional miles shopping online at a US Airways partner store - like Target, Gap, or Staples. I'd have simply needed to make my purchase through the US Airways site.
Take 10 minutes this week to assess the status of your own frequent-flyer miles. In all likelihood, you're at risk of losing them if you don't take some action soon. United Airlines announced their "stay active" policy this past January, and American Airlines followed suit just last week.
To cash in your miles for products instead of flights, visit: points.com. It's free to register, and you'll be presented with all sorts of places where your miles are as good as greenbacks.
To earn miles when you make purchases from a wide range of retailers, visit each airline's frequent-flyer website and find the link for their partner offers.
[Ed. Note: Jennifer Stevens, author of AWAI's Ultimate Travel Writer's Program, gets paid to travel.]
______________________________
It's Fun to Know: Your Chances of Winning Big
Georgia truck driver Ed Nabors is taking home about $80 million after winning the Mega Millions lottery this past March. That could be you, right? Maybe. But your chance of winning the next big Mega Millions jackpot is about one in 175,711,536.
(Source: The New York Times)
______________________________
Word to the Wise: Flagitious
"Flagitious" (fluh-JISH-us) - from the Latin for "a shameful or disgraceful act" - means grossly wicked, scandalous, or corrupt.
Example (as used by Robin Greer in a review of Jim Carrey's performance in How the Grinch Stole Christmas): "The Grinch, a nefarious, flagitious, sly, nasty, troublesome, bad-tempered, intolerant, and foul-smelling character who, for reasons never fully explained, lives in a cave above the town."
Michael Masterson
__________________________________________________
These articles appear courtesy of Early to Rise [Issue #2066, 06-12-07], the Internet's most popular health, wealth, and success e-zine. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com/.
posted by Oak Stone at 7:08 PM
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