"To show resentment at a reproach is to acknowledge that one may have deserved it."

- Tacitus

How to Handle Being Badmouthed at Work

By Michael Masterson

What do you do when you discover that an employee or colleague has been badmouthing you?

An example:

Several years ago (over the course of six months), I reduced Ellen’s responsibilities (and job title). Although she had many excellent qualities, she was someone who saw business as a struggle for personal power rather than a struggle toward a common goal - which is not the way a good leader should think. On top of that, we had different ideas about the way a major project should be handled.

But since Ellen was very strong in some ways (a hard worker, passionate, tough, and motivated), I didn’t want to fire her. Instead, I figured out a way to create an important job that she could excel at.

Although we never talked about it, I felt that she understood what I tried to do. That seemed like a reasonable expectation, since I had simplified her job, focused her attention on work she could do well, and maintained her income level even though her work load was considerably reduced. All subsequent communications from her were as positive as ever, so I decided that the transition had, indeed, gone well.

I was wrong. As it turned out, she didn’t like it at all. And she expressed her bad feelings in very strong terms in several memos sent to a few colleagues.

Those memos made their way back to me, and I was shocked to see how she felt.

My first reaction was, "After all the time and effort I spent trying to find a new job for her! I should have just fired her!"

But I got over that and eventually came back to the idea that I always come to when I hear that someone’s been talking negatively about me behind my back: You can’t pay attention to what people say about you when you are not present.

There are three reasons:

1. They are venting - so much of what they are saying is exaggerated. (Haven’t you ever said something about someone that was an exaggeration?)
2. The feelings they are expressing in the heat of the moment may be temporary. (Think about how your opinion of certain colleagues has changed over the years.)
3. Most of the negative feelings that turn out to be permanent really won’t affect you. It’s just talk.

So don’t worry about what people say behind your back. It is mostly a reflection of how powerless they feel. Focus on doing what you think is best, and hope that your detractors will come around to seeing the wisdom of your ways.

If you want to succeed, you must learn to be a leader. Leadership implies change. Change involves fear and loss. When fear and loss are present, resentment is commonplace. Blame too.

So steel yourself against resentment, because it is the price you pay for making things better.

If you do get word that there are grumblings against you, pay them no mind. Don’t make the mistake of thinking it might be better to confront the offender. You’ll only make matters worse. Instead, continue focusing on your common business goal, as opposed to your relationship, and hope the emotional bruises heal.

If the grumbler’s productivity decreases measurably, you can probably conclude things will go from bad to worse. In such a situation, it’s advisable to dismiss him. But if you can get the relationship back on track, chances are it will be a good one.

What is said about you behind your back usually means nothing, and it always says more about the speaker than it does about you. Ignore it. Pay attention to what people say to your face. Expect to be treated with respect - and demand it if it doesn’t come. Focus on the work and not the personal drama.
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You Don’t Need Drugs for a Healthy Heart

By Al Sears, MD

Last month marked the failure of another drug.

Pfizer pulled its much-touted new cholesterol drug torcetrapib after trials revealed an increased risk of heart complications and death. This was the first drug designed to raise levels of HDL (good cholesterol) instead of lowering levels of LDL (bad cholesterol).

While the new drug stimulated scientists and researchers to recognize the importance of HDL in heart health, keep in mind that relying on toxic drugs to boost HDL is unnecessary.

Niacin - a simple B vitamin - raises HDL better than any drug, boosting it by as much as 35 percent. This usually requires a higher dose - about 2,000 milligrams per day. It also lowers LDL and reduces artery-clogging triglycerides by as much as 50 percent.

Decades after the first clinical tests linked niacin and heart health, the medical establishment is finally giving it the recognition it deserves. Niacin is completely natural and has no dangerous side effects. It can occasionally cause a flush when the blood vessels dilate, but this is not serious.

[Ed. Note: Dr. Sears, a practicing physician and the author of The Doctor’s Heart Cure, is a leading authority on longevity, physical fitness, and heart health.]

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Travel Tip: Turn Your Pictures Into Postcards

By Lori Appling

I’ll never buy another postcard.

The United States Postal Service has a cool feature you might not know about. If you go to the USPS website, you can upload an image (your own or one that they provide) and they’ll create, print, and mail a postcard for you.

Go to usps.com/netpost and click on Stay in Touch With Family & Friends. Then click on Premium Postcards.

I used to use the NetPost service a lot when I lived in Paris. It allowed me to make postcards out of my own photos as well as avoid the international postage rates. For a premium postcard, it’s only $.84.

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It’s Good to Know: About Caesar Salad

No, it wasn’t invented by Julius Caesar or at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. The ever-popular Caesar salad was created by Italian chef Caesar Cardini at the Hotel Caesar in Tijuana, Mexico in 1924.

Despite the inclusion of anchovies in some modern versions, there were none in the original recipe. It used Worcestershire sauce, which has anchovies as one of its ingredients.

(Source: Wikipedia)

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Word to the Wise: Progeny

"Progeny" (PRAHJ-uh-nee) - from the Latin for "beget" - are the immediate descendents of a person, animal, or plant.Example (as used by Liesl Schillinger in a New York Times review of Walking on Eggshells by Jane Isay): "We could perhaps learn something from the female leatherback turtle. She lays her clutch of eggs then departs forever, never to discover how her progeny fared for the rest of her long life."

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These selected articles appear courtesy of Early to Rise [Issue #2015, 04-13-07], the Internet's most popular health, wealth, and success e-zine. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com/.